Many in 2008 have served up their failures and flawed intelligence, but only one person has flopped big enough to be flipped the Eternal Bird. This year's finalists and their unique recipes for disaster are . . .
- Ted Stevens . . . Baked Alaska
- Senator Joe Lieberman . . . Eggs Benedict
- Senator Norm Coleman . . . Pulled Pork
- Eliot Spitzer . . . Pigs in a Blanket
- Rep. Michelle Bachmann . . . Fruitcake
- Senator Elizabeth Dole . . . Just Desserts
- Rep. Mark Foley . . . Chicken Stuffing
- Tucker Carlson . . . Burnt Toast Square
- Jesse Jackson . . . Barbecued Nuts
- Henry Paulson . . . Half-Baked Potatoes
- Senator Larry Craig . . . Pickled Pig's Feet
- John Edwards . . . Imitation Shrimp Balls
- Governor Sarah Palin . . . Raw Fish
- George W. Bush . . . Slow-Roasted Lame Duck
- Everyone at Fox News . . . Crow under Glass
And now with great relish, I present the winner of Bill Garr's Biggest Turkey of the Year Award® 2008. Nominated for his Country Fried, Overcooked Goose dipped in red sauce, the Eternal Bird goes to . . . Senator John "bomb bomb bomb" McCain!
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